Catharsis

1:30 A.M.
November 10th, 2018.

I tossed and turned,
Feet entangled with the mosquito net,
Unused at the foot of the bed,
On that surprisingly hot November night,
Just two days shy of turning twenty.

A solitary mosquito buzzed in my ear
A momentary relief from the tumultous thoughts;
Stimulated and sleepless,
They gush out;
From crevices I thought forgotten.
From days I’d hoped I had left behind,
At moments they had no business appearing.

Past conversations make themselves heard,
Past emotions felt,
In the cool of the night, I feel the sting of hot tears,
Yet unshed.

The Thoughts refuse to die down,
Clear and still far from comforting;
The sobs emerge,
Softly at first,
As if to match the calm of the night,
Then heaving, making me gasp for air.
Strangely not jarring amidst the lone buzzing mosquito
And the ticking clock.

Still haunted by the Thoughts,
Still racked by sobs,
I toss and turn, feet thoroughly entangled by now.

A few minutes in,
The fog clears,
As do my eyes.
Ever fastidious, I stumble my way to the window
Peering at the dial of my wrist watch,
Glinting in the wee rays of moonlight.

2:15 A.M.
I’m now ‘done and dusted’,
(if that can be said of these times)

Up goes the mosquito net,
The quilt’s unfolded,
The alarm clock is bought nearer.
In the space of a minute, I am now cleansed,
Cathartically so.

Drowsy, I drift into sleep
Now unhearing of the clock ticking.

Written on November 15, 2018